alexschwindt.com

dog tired

There are a few things in life that I never seem to be able to move out of the life-lesson-in-box.  One of those things is learning to balance my life.  For most of 2008 was doing a great job with this.  But then I started a new job.  At the end of November.  The week Church of the Rez kicked off it's Christmas series. 

So for the past five weeks I've been running and working like my hair's on fire.  Moving in.  Getting unpacked.  Learning a new job, a new operating system, a new editor.  Learning to find my way around KC.  Making new friends.  Knocking out a full-time class load.  Attempting to do the best work of my life while I do all of that other stuff. 

Trying to balance all of these things really pushed me to the limit of what I was capable of. Last week I was literally experiencing chest pains and headaches just trying to live up to my expectations of myself.  The plan was to just make it through to Christmas, so I could have just one day to do absolutely nothing but rest and recover.  Of course, you know the thing about plans . . .

On Christmas day this year, my poor wife and kids were completely knocked out with the flu.  I ended up spending the entire day taking care of all of them (which I really was happy to do).  What that meant, however, is that today I'm back into the full work swing again having not rested yet at all.

In 2008 one of my goals was to achieve a life balance that would accurately reflect my own personal values, not anyone else's.  So I guess that will be a 2009 thing too.  And this year I'm going 12-months for 12-months. 

Anyone else working on this?

change is good?

Since I was 18 years old, one of the mainstays of my life has been my old leather backpack.  Sometimes it carried textbooks.  Sometimes lunch.  Sometimes baby bottles.  Eventually, it started carrying my laptop.  It became a sort of through-line for all of the steps, both little and big, in my life.  I loved my backpack.

A couple of weeks ago, I had to replace my old beloved leather backpack.  There were things I needed to carry that that old pack couldn't fit, and so I had to get a new one.  It wasn't necessarily something I would have chosen, but it needed to be done.

And you know what?  The new one's not as bad as I thought.  It's actually lighter and stronger, and it feels a lot better on my shoulders.  It provides better protection for my new Mac laptop (which is another post entirely).  Basically, it's better for me right now.

There are a whole lot of things in my life that are changing now.  Some things I really wish hadn't changed did.  But a lot of the changes have been better than I thought.  Some of the changes have been sublime.

I'm not sure about the future.  There are so many paths God may lead me down, so many doors He may open.  But hopefully right now, today, I can learn to hold on a little more loosely to the backpacks in my life. 

back in the swing

Hey everyone.  So it's been a while since I've posted anything to this page, and I'm thinking it might be good to try getting back into the swing of blogging.  A lot's happened in my life over the past six months, not the least of which has been us moving to Kansas City a couple of weeks ago.

There are so many friends we have all around the country, and I hope this will get back to being a way I can stay connected.  Feel free to leave a comment below and say 'hey' . . .

good night, and good luck

Hey everyone.  As you may have noticed if you're still stopping by, this blog has been inactive for going on three months now.  Over the past year my life priorities have changed to some degree.  I've started back to school, and have been taking huge classloads with the intention of finishing in the spring of 2009.  I've also been asked to take on the role of Webmaster for RiverValleyRockford.org, which continues to expand in scope and ambition as time progresses.

All of which is to say, I think I'm going to have to suspend the blog for the time being.  As to what this site will become in the future, I'm not exactly sure yet.  Feel free to stop in again from time to time to see what's going on.  Thanks for making this site a part of your life.

alex

daylight savings time

Ok, we need to talk about this.  Daylight Savings Time is stupid.  That's right, I said it.  It's basically just a holiday for morning people.  Why, exactly does it exist?  I'll tell you why.  Because politicians and yuppies of all stripes don't like the fact that their lives are structured in such a way as to require them to drive to work at an hour of night that's dark 5 months of the year. 

So what's the solution???  "Let's rob an hour of daylight from people with normal sleep schedules!  So what that everyone's confused unnecessarily two weekends a year.  So what that sunset begins at 4:30PM in some places.  I want sunshine when I drive my Volvo into the office!"

I'm sitting in my office right now enjoying the fact that it's 4:19PM and it doesn't feel like the day's almost over today.  It's nice.  To all of you who fought so hard and won a few more weeks of normal daylight time last year, my hat's off to you.  Let's keep fighting the good fight out there!   

Anyone else feelin' me on this one? 

which would you rather?

So would you rather have it cloudy and 20 degrees or sunny and -20?  What if you hadn't seen sunlight it three months?  These are the questions you find yourself asking when you live this far north.  (sigh)

It's snowing outside again, and I'm not sure if I have the heart to get out and shovel my driveway again for the umpteenth time this winter.  I'd invest in a blowtorch except I know I'd burn myself to a cinder.  (sigh again)

hey . . .

Hey everyone.  I know it's been almost three months since I posted anything to this blog, and I've missed doing it a lot.  There's a process that I've been going through for the past few months that has really taken me out of my normal life patterns.  Taking a break from this form of communication has been something I committed to as a part of that process. 

But now I'm ready to get back into it.  There've been so many things I wanted to share with you all over the past month, and I'm going to enjoy (hopefully) getting back into that dialog.  Honestly, it's felt pretty good to get messages from those of you out there who have enjoyed the conversation, and I've appreciated the encouragement.

Look for new content here in the coming days and weeks, and drop a line in the Reply box when you have time!

balance

Hey Everybody -

As you can see, it's been a long time since I've written anything on my blog.  Which is really my fault.  I'm not complaining.  A lot of new and good things have been happening in my life.  Good stuff.  The problem is I'm doing a terrible job managing my time - or more specifically, balancing my life.

I'm doing too much.  There are too many projects, obligations, systems and aspirations - more than I can manage.  And it's all good stuff.  The problem is that managing to do it all is not good for me.  Call it my midwest upbringing, but deep down inside part of me believe that every hour of my day needs to be filled with things I could justify to an some sort of authority figure.  Probably, to be brutally honest, things I could justify to a church board somewhere.

The problem is it's burning me out emotionally.  (yeah, when I read that on the screen my first thought is "man up" too)  The problem is that after living in denial of it for 12 years, I have to admit that I'm not Superman, and I have to recharge for longer than a six hour stint of sleep.  I need things in my life that constitute something beyond working or of lying comatose waiting for the next 6- or 13-day stretch. 

So writing this is the first step.  I'm going to begin evaluating and taking action.  If I go for longer than 10 days without a post it means I'm life it spiraling out of balance again.  Leave me a comment and call me on it . . .

the jouney

Hey Everybody.  Sorry that I've been awol from the blog-verse for such a long time.  Over the last month we've been transitioning our lives.  The transition didn't go as easily or as smoothly as we had hoped, but God saw us through it.  The last year of our lives has not been easy, but we're learning about ourselves and about God and at the end of the day we'll call it good.

So much is different about our lives today.  Things are so much better.  It's not easier, but it's better.  For a while I was worried that I would never be able to trust another Christian after being betrayed by so many of them.  But in His mercy God's surrounded us with a cocoon of love and friendship here in Rockford (and Kansas), and it's the kind of thing I'll never take for granted again.

So for those of you who've carried us through the last month and the last year, I just want to say thank you.  You know who you are . . .   

the thin line between stuff and junk

So we're moving next week.  I used to love moving, but those days are long over.  The upside is that we're really excited about finally getting to Rockford.  But we still have to pack . . .

The silver lining on the packing process is that it gives you a chance to par down the junk you've accumulated.  10 years ago everything I owned in this world fit into the hatch of my Celica, nowadays I need a 28-foot truck.  It's kinda entertaining the way a year in the basement can move something from the "indispensable" pile to the "disposable" one.  Would you believe I still have a Walkman?  I don't even think I own any cassettes.  It's just sad.

The ice-cream maker still belongs in "indispensable", however . . .